BMSU, vol. 5

Hello again friends! More pregnancy news comin' at ya!

Today I went to the Perinatal Center at St. John's Mercy, which is where they check my amniotic fluid level by ultrasound and check on how the baby is doing by fetal monitoring. After 3 days of bedrest, my fluid is up slightly to 5.7. We were hoping for a bigger change, but anything above 5 keeps me out of the hospital, so that is good! They told me not to expect the fluid to get much higher, but to just be happy that it is above 5. That was good advice because it helps me to stay positive about how things are going.

Looking back to last Thursday, I think that the reading of 6.5 was incorrect, since it would be pretty hard for my fluid level to double in a 12-hour span. I have a good theory as to what happened with that, but now that my goal is just to stay in "the 5's" I am just putting that reading out of my mind.

The fetal monitoring they also do at the Perinatal Center is when they listen to the baby's heartbeat to see how the baby is doing. They look for heartbeat accelerations and how oftern the baby is kicking. The baby looked great today.

I also saw my doctor, Dr. Danis, today. He helped me to understand a little better what the game plan is for the rest of the pregnancy. The short of it is that we basically just have to wait and see. But that's not very exciting news, so I'll tell you the long story! I am going to go to the Perinatal Center to check on the baby and fluid level twice a week. My next appointment is Thursday. As long as it is above 5, I can stay home on bedrest and drinking lots of fluids. If it dips below 5, they will admit me to the hospital and induce labor. I will be 36 weeks on Wednesday (37 weeks is considered full term and a-ok to have the baby...40 weeks is when my due date is). Being at 36 weeks makes it just fine and dandy if the baby needs to come--his/her lungs may need a little attention, but besides that, the baby will be only a teensy bit early.

But, the closer I can get to 37 weeks, the better! If/when I get to that point (a week from Wednesday), they will decide whether to induce labor at that time or let me go a while longer until the baby decides to come out on his/her own. Again, fluid level and how the baby looks on the monitor are both a factor.

My prayer is for a natural (not induced) labor. In our last podcast¹, Joel and I talked about how excited we are about a natural labor (no epidural, free to move around, no monitors, no IV), and induction is not something that was previously on my radar. After realizing that induction is definitely a possibility for me, I had to rethink things and die to myself and my own desires for my baby's birth. In the world today, there is a lot of focus on having the birth how I want it, choosing among my many options (Do I want an epidural? A doula? An IV? A birthing ball?)...which is good, but sometimes the health of the baby doesn't warrant what I want. So I have been thinking a lot lately about the Cross, and how things didn't always go how Christ wanted them to. Yet he said that his only food is to do the will of the Father. So I have experienced a lot of peace since I asked God to help me unite his will to his, to love the cross, and to let go about my personal preferences. His plan to sanctify me may include a labor I hadn't planned for or didn't prefer. Realizing that it's not my choice has helped me a great deal and I feel much more peaceful.

Bedrest is hard (especially for someone whose husband described once as a "go-getter"), and so is surrendering to a complicated labor. But then I think about all the women who can't have children, are having difficulty conceiving, or have had miscarriages. How blessed I am! Then I realize that we all have our crosses. And it's not necessarily that other women have heavier crosses than me...it's that we all have our own special cross that we must unite to Christ's. I believe Victor Frankl said it beautifully when he described suffering as a gas that fills the chamber of one's heart; no matter the quantity of gas, it will always penetrate one's whole soul. So each one's suffering is unique, difficult, and a gift from God. I am so grateful for the light of the Holy Spirit that has brought me so much peace in this small struggle. I have no doubt that it is thanks to your prayers.

Next update: Thursday!