Lucy and Mommy

What's the greatest thing about being Lucia's mom? I can't wait to tell you. But before I delve into this blog any further, I want to first speak to my male readers for a moment.

Men of God: some of you, after discovering the subject matter of this blog, may be tempted to run frantically for the hills. I've noticed that men are squeamish about certain topics that don't cause women to blink an eye. Sometimes, I believe your reactions are reasonable...however, at other times, I believe it's a symptom of a wounded culture. It's certainly the case with breastfeeding these days. That's right, this blog is about breastfeeding. But, my dear male readers, I promise that you can handle it. I'll keep everything as mild as possible so that you can participate in this discussion of such a beautiful and God-given gift! Hang in there, guys!

So, the greatest thing about being Lucia's mom...I'd say it's nursing my beautiful little baby! I know this special part of our relationship won't last forever, but nursing Lucia goes way beyond satisfying a mere nutritional need. It's shaped the way we parent her (yes, even Joel is involved!) and I'm sure that its effects will last long after the nursing sessions end.

There has been quite a campaign lately to promote breastfeeding, and with excellent cause. The advent of formula, bottles and pacifiers into the parenting culture decades ago has been more detrimental to children than most will admit. Please know that I am not saying that if you or your parents used or currently use these things that you or they are bad people or bad parents. I am addressing here the introduction of "artifacts", as Sheila Kippley, author of Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing (and my mentor) calls them, into our society, which happened before most of us were in diapers. I won't go into a discourse on why the bottle was introduced, but suffice it to say that we've been backpedaling ever since.

So, everyone today knows that "breast is best", as they say, but how many of us truly believe in the benefits of breastfeeding? Not just the nutritional benefits. Not just the extra IQ points everyone likes to talk about. I'm talking about the bonding between mother and baby, the comfort it brings the nursling, and the calming effect it has on the mother.

Did you know that nursing was voted as the number one favorite way for babies to fall asleep in a recent poll? Just kidding. But, if babies could talk, they really would cast their votes for the best nightcap ever invented!

Okay, back to Lucia and me. At first, nursing was difficult. It was partly because Lucia was born a month early and had to stay in the NICU for a day and a half. But also because, although breastfeeding is a natural process, it does not necessarily come naturally. I believe that in the past, breastfeeding was taught by the new mother's mother, or another female mentor like a midwife. It's not necessarily intuitive. We know that from the many failed breastfeeding stories of yesterday and today—mothers who were told by their own unknowledgeable doctors that they didn't have enough milk, or that the baby wasn't tolerating it well and that formula would be better.

Many mothers say that nursing doesn't become second nature until about six weeks postpartum. Six weeks is certainly a long time to struggle with something that can be frustrating, painful, and unsupported by friends and family. But, as many women have found, it is worth it! It saddens me to know that many mothers quit nursing around the six-week mark. That's just the point where things get a lot better. It's also the point when the baby becomes more interactive with the mother, smiling and cooing a bit. Lucia's first deliberate smiles were when she knew she was going to get to nurse!

Some who are reading this blog may be surprised (and maybe even scandalized) that I am still nursing Lucia, who will turn one year old in just a couple weeks. However, it may surprise you to know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies be breastfed for at least a year. And the World Health Organization recommends that babies be breastfed for at least two years! So why is it that many mothers do not nurse their babies this long? There are many reasons. But, sadly, the biggest reason is that our society does not look fondly on nursing in public, especially mothers who nurse their babies past six months or a year.

I'm so thankful for Joel's support of breastfeeding in our family. He is fully convinced of its benefits for both mom and baby, and it's his support that has enabled me to persevere in nursing Lucia, even if it is out of style when I'm out and about. I have to admit, there is something humorous about a baby who, when finished nursing, sits up all by herself and then proceeds to walk away on her own! But if this scene seems strange, it's only because we're not accustomed to seeing it.

My nursing relationship with Lucia continues to grow deeper and more satisfying as time goes on. One of the highlights of my day is snuggling up together with Lucia and napping together after she's nursed to sleep. It's also the best way to calm Lucia down after she's taken a tumble or bumped her head. Sometimes it can even be great medicine for mom on a stressful day, as nursing releases hormones in the mother that have a calming effect.

So, Lucia won't be nursing forever, and it will probably be over before I know it. Ever since she began eating solids four months ago, she started the slow weaning process. She's now only breastfeeding before and during naps and bedtime, and the occasional nursing when she's hurt, upset, or just needs some reassurance. Lucia's nursing will dwindle almost imperceptibly until I realize she didn't nurse at all one day. Even though breastfeeding is a passing season in motherhood, I'll never forget the closeness the it has brought us.